Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Doomsday Clock, Doomsday Schlock




(Insipid original AP article)


Doomsday clock now gauges climate change
Wed Jan 17, 12:21 PM ET

Scientist Stephen Hawking described climate change Wednesday as a greater threat to the planet than terrorism. Hawking made the remarks as other prominent scientists prepared to push the giant hand of its Doomsday Clock — a symbol of the risk of atomic cataclysm and now also of climate change — closer to midnight. Hawking warned that "as citizens of the world, we have a duty to alert the public to the unnecessary risks that we live with every day."

Dr. Hawking may be a brilliant physicist, but he apparently is also a 'tard (despite the fact he uses a Mac). Did "climate change" bring down the WTC?

Seems to me that leaving radical Islam (and let's face it, folks, is there
really any other kind?) go unchallenged in western countries is a far greater "unnecessary risk".

It was the fourth time since the end of the Cold War that the clock has ticked forward, this time from 11:53 to 11:55, amid fears over what the trans-Atlantic group of scientists is describing as "a second nuclear age" prompted largely by atomic standoffs with Iran and North Korea.

If any nation on this planet had leaders who weren't contemptible weasels, we could easily (if harshly) deal with the nuclear threat posed by Iran and NoKo. I believe it would have a very salutary effect if the U.S. were to announce that within 24 hours, we'd light-off a freakin' nuke in an uninhabited section the Iranian desert. And then do so, followed by telling Mr. Ahmadinnerjacket that the next one will be aimed at his home and he really ought to consider dropping his nuclear program completely. Cc: Mr. "Dear Leader" Bad Lesbian Haircut.

But the organization added that the "dangers posed by climate change are nearly as dire as those posed by nuclear weapons."

And precisely what "organization" would that be, Associated Press? You've not yet mentioned it in this article, despite your vaunted "multiple layers of fact checking" and the fact you (allegedly) have editors.

Please explain: how is (alleged) climate change a danger in the same league with nuclear weapons?


The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, founded in 1945 as a newsletter distributed among nuclear physicists concerned by the possibility of nuclear war, has since grown into an organization focused more generally on manmade threats to the survival of human civilization.

Oh...that organization. And I've got news for you: not a single person has been killed by a nuclear weapon since 1945.

However, there have been more than 7200 terror attacks worldwide by Muslims (certainly a "manmade threat")
just since 09/11/01. According to TheReligionOfPeace.com, in Iraq alone, terror attacks by Muslims killed more than 16,700 of their fellow Muslims in 2006.

"As scientists, we understand the dangers of nuclear weapons and their devastating effects, and we are learning how human activities and technologies are affecting climate systems in ways that may forever change life on Earth," said Stephen Hawking, the renowned cosmologist and mathematician.

Dr. Hawking is further renowned for knowing jackshit about meteorology, climatology, atmospheric science or any other science that's actually pertinent to a meaningful discussion regarding "climate change".

"As citizens of the world, we have a duty to alert the public to the unnecessary risks that we live with every day, and to the perils we foresee if governments and societies do not take action now to render nuclear weapons obsolete and to prevent further climate change."

But heaven forbid that a "citizen of the world" tries to alert the public about the dangers of Islamists. Because, as we all know, that's racism. Even though there are murderous Muslims of all creeds.

The bulletin's clock, which for 60 years has followed the rise and fall of nuclear tensions, would now also measure climate change, the bulletin's editor Mark Strauss told The Associated Press.

"There's a realization that we are changing our climate for the worse," he said, "That would have catastrophic effects. Although the threat is not as dire as that of nuclear weapons right now, in the long term we are looking at a serious threat."

Because Al Gore's PowerPoint presentation told us so. And a clock is an appropriate device for measuring "climate change". "Hey, honey...what's the current temperature?" "It's almost twenty to eight, dear."

The threat of nuclear war, however, remains by far the organization's most pressing concern. "It's important to emphasize 50 of today's nuclear weapons could kill 200 million people," he said.

What an utterly meaningless statement. Weapons of what yield? Set-off where? Set-off how? Ground burst? Air burst? Death! Doom! Destruction! Fallout! Nuclear winter (which could offset alleged warmening, couldn't it?)! Aieeeee! We're all gonna die!

The decisions to move the clock is made by the bulletin's board, which is composed of prominent scientists and policy experts, in coordination with the group's sponsors.

Enquiring minds might like to know who those sponsors are. Lever Brothers? Pizza Hut? George Soros? ServPro? Sponsors always have an agenda.

Since it was set to seven minutes to midnight in 1947, the hand has been moved 18 times, including Wednesday's move.

Ooooh...the hands only move every 3.333 years on average. That's just gotta be an accurate clock.

It came closest to midnight — just two minutes away — in 1953, following the successful test of a hydrogen bomb by the United States. It has been as far away as 17 minutes, set there in 1991 following the demise of the Soviet Union.

So basically, the "Doomsday Clock" is pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo.

"Holy shit...one of Mickey's hands is in his armpit and the other one's in his crotch; expect death imminently. Aieeeeee!"

7 Comments:

Anonymous Bilgeman said...

Fatwa:

Well, yes, there really IS such a thing as non-radical Islam.

It's Islam in a majority Christian country where the Christ-worshippers all have deer rifles and duck guns and aren't about to give them up.

As to Dr. Hawking, there's one thing that I've learned since I made your acquaintance 6 months ago:

It's a wise policy to always automatically assume that anyone with the honorific of "Doctor" appended to their name is chock full of shit until they conclusively prove otherwise.

Regards;

18/1/07 17:31  
Blogger SBH said...

Hm...come to think of it, there is no "Climate" involved in Theoretical Physics, is there?

As always, nice work, Fatwa!

20/1/07 08:27  
Blogger BrendaK said...

Since it was set to seven minutes to midnight in 1947, the hand has been moved 18 times, including Wednesday's move.

And the hands on teh clock go round 'n round, round 'n round, round 'n round...

Thanks, Fatwa, for providing a sane outlook to counter the Climate Warmening Doom Prophets™.

20/1/07 17:14  
Anonymous Bilgeman said...

Fatwa:

Something's been buggin' me.

What if the Doomsday Clock is digital?

Regards;

1/2/07 17:03  
Blogger Obob said...

is the doomsday clock affected by daylight savings? Great post
"bad lesbian haircut" that's funny

3/2/07 20:35  
Blogger Obob said...

is the doomsday clock affected by daylight savings? Great post
"bad lesbian haircut" that's funny

3/2/07 20:35  
Blogger Hosedragger said...

"Breaking news tonight as scientists and Liberals everywhere realize that theri fear and yelling of "the sky is falling" was all for not, as they discovered that the so-called "Doomsday Clock" which was just moved to 5 minutes before midnight, was actually being moved to 5 minutes before noon, totally wiping out their plans, forcing them to realize their lives have been a total waste. When asked to comment, all they could say was, "Well, this gives us more time to fleece the Government of more money to fund other items of supposed science hat plants fear into people, while convincing them it is wrong for Bush to use terrorism to scare people. We see it as a good thing, as long as we can come up with something new"

Details and video at 11...pm.

8/2/07 06:13  

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