U.S. to rest of world: We're hiding under your bed; booga booga booga!

(Original insipid AP article here)


Putin: U.S. policies create arms race
By DAVID RISING, Associated Press Writer

Russian President Vladimir Putin warned Saturday that the United States' increased use of military force is creating a new arms race, with smaller nations turning toward developing nuclear weapons.

Hey, Mr. Putin - What country invaded Afghanistan prior to the United States going in? And, um, were the Afghanis able to have relatively free (or any type of) elections after Russia's invasion?

Uh huh...STFU!

Speaking at a conference of the world's top security officials, including the Iranian nuclear negotiator Ali Larijani, Putin said nations "are witnessing an almost uncontained hyper use of force in international relations."

Hyper use of force? Hmmm...I guess that must refer to all of our threats to use nuclear weapons on neighboring countries. (Well, we probably would if Mexico, Canada - or even Cuba - were filled with Jooos.)

"One state, the United States, has overstepped its national borders in every way," he told the 250 officials, including more than 40 defense and foreign ministers.

Yup...Americans are flooding illegally into Mexico and Canada at an unprecedented rate, overwhelming their social services and causing all sorts of mayhem.

And we're getting ready to roll tanks into Poland, France, The Czech Republic, Slovakia...oh, hang on a minute, that was the Nazis. My bad; Bush isn't really Hitler.

"This is nourishing an arms race with the desire of countries to get nuclear weapons," Putin said, but did not elaborate on specifics and did not mention the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Mostly to threaten America and Israel, the eeeevilest nations on earth.

The Russian leader also voiced concern about U.S. plans to build a missile defense system in eastern Europe — likely in Poland and the Czech Republic — and the expansion of NATO as possible challenges to Russia.

Gee...is it remotely possible that fairly recently-freed countries might wish to stay that way? (Not to mention the fact they're within likely range of Iran's missles.)

"The process of NATO expansion has nothing to do with modernization of the alliance or with ensuring security in Europe," Putin said. "On the contrary, it is a serious factor provoking reduction of mutual trust."

Yo, Vlad...just because Dubya gazed into your eyes and saw nothing but goodness doesn't mean we all feel that way.

On the missile defense system, Putin said: "I don't want to accuse anyone of being aggressive" but suggested it would seriously change the balance of power and could provoke an unspecified response.

Here's a big, unspecified digitus impudicus for ya.

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates had little to say about Putin's remarks, noting only that "he was very candid."

Sen. Joseph Lieberman said Putin's charge that the U.S. "aspired to get unipolar power or acted unilaterally is just not borne out by the facts."

Sure. But why cloud the issue with facts when it's so clear that the United States is ineffably evil. C'mon...we all know it's true.

"Even our involvement in Iraq, certainly Afghanistan, is pursuant to United Nations resolutions," said Lieberman, I-Conn. "So that was provocative and wrong."

The real problem is that the U.N. dilly-dallied for too long to get in there and do what they do best: steal gobs of (mostly American) money and rape the locals. Ya snooze, ya lose.

Putin's spokesman Dimitry Peskov said the Russian leader did not intend to be confrontational, but acknowledged it was his harshest criticism of the United States since he was elected in March 2000.

"The reason for his comments is Russia's concern about the growing amount of conflicts and the malfunctioning of international law," Peskov told the AP.

International law isn't malfunctioning. It's dysfunctioning (sic).

Earlier, German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Tehran needs to accept demands made by the U.N. and the International Atomic Energy Agency on its nuclear program. The United States and several of its Western allies believe that Iran is using the nuclear program to produce an atomic weapon.

I thought they needed this technology for "peaceful electrical power". Because, y'know, it's not like they've got any other sources of energy sitting in the ground.

"There is no way around this," Merkel said. "What we are talking about here is a very, very sensitive technology, and for that reason we need a high degree of transparency — which Iran has failed to provide — and if Iran does not do so, then the alternative for Iran is to slip further into isolation."

On the sidelines of the conference, Larijani defended his country's nuclear program as peaceful, saying: "We are no threat to our region or other countries," while indicating a willingness to return to negotiations.

While holding a fantasy map of the Mid-East - sans Israel - behind his back. Nothing to see here, folks.

"We are prepared to work together with other countries for a comprehensive peace," he said.

Why have I gotten the impression that "comprehensive peace" in that region usually equates to "dead Jooos"?

Heading into the conference, Larijani said he planned to use the gathering as an opportunity to discuss Iran's nuclear program — the first talks with Western officials since limited U.N. sanctions were imposed in December.

There's really very little to discuss, Mr. Larijani. Shut down your nuclear program or it will be shut down for you.

The annual Munich Conference on Security Policy, now in its 43rd year, often is used as an opportunity for informal diplomacy.

"You okay with killing Jooos?" "I'm down with that; and 'death to America!, too." Followed by high-fiving over expensive champagne.

Merkel, whose country holds the rotating European Union presidency, emphasized the international community's support for Israel and said there was a unified resolve to prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons.

But they said they weren't doing that; I say we give 'em the benefit of the doubt.

The conference this year focuses on "Global Crises — Global Responsibilities," looking at NATO's changing role, the Middle East peace process, the West's relations with Russia and the fight against terrorism.

"George Bush is the terrorist!"

Some 3,500 police were on hand to keep some 1,300 protesters in check, officials said. Scattered arrests were reported, but police said there were no major incidents.

Except for an altercation between giant puppets. Further, one protester was slightly injured by a burning American flag.