More "Male Enhancement" Mailbag Malesac! (Uh huh huh huh huh!)

Booster for your manhood!

About time, too...it's getting tired of sitting at the kids' table.

Enlarge your bell-rope length

"Sanctuary!" (Well, it does bear a slight resemblance to Charles Laughton; must be the wen.)

Enlarge your device length - Your wife loves Big Daddy...

Actually, I don't think she fantasizes about Burl Ives too often.

Enlarge your instrument size

Hey...I used to have a Hammond B3 organ; I'm just as happy I've downsized my rig.

Rev up your lovemaking life

Vroom, vroom!

Upsize your sex pen1s easily

Wow...some people have a special pen1s that's just for sex? How bourgeoise; hmmmph!

Catch the eye of every woman

"Ow...quit it!" (I've heard of being blinded by lust, but this is ridiculous.)

Can't you reach her cervix uteri?

Well, I've got some BBQ tongs if she's got more than one uterus; just sayin'.

Turn it into a thing she will never forget

Like with malevolent bloodshot eyes and venom-dripping fangs?

Whip your pecker into shape

"Ow, quit it!" redux

Make your girlfriend worship you

"Jesu Christo...you are not gonna nail me with that thing!"